" There is no winning, Oliver, there are only degrees of losing " - what Danny Devito's character says to Michael Douglas's character in " War of the Roses "... . That quote is probably the most profound statement regarding modern divorce that I have ever read. Ask anyone who has been through a divorce and they will tell you how easily the divorce process can become out of control, power struggle. And where does the fault lie? With the divorcing couple who are trying to deal with emotions like sadness, loss, anger, and abandonment? With a legal system which more often than not breeds adversarialness or unaccountability? Or with the lawyers who strive to be neutral advocates, but can slip, in trying to help their clients, into being negative advocates?
The recent change to a no fault process in New York State divorce law will hopefully help smooth and streamline the entire process, how much so is an open question at the moment...
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