WHEN ART IMITATES REAL LIFE..

" There is no winning, Oliver, there are only degrees of losing " - what Danny Devito's character says to Michael Douglas's character in " War of the Roses "... . That quote is probably the most profound statement regarding modern divorce that I have ever read. Ask anyone who has been through a divorce and they will tell you how easily the divorce process can become out of control, power struggle. And where does the fault lie? With the divorcing couple who are trying to deal with emotions like sadness, loss, anger, and abandonment? With a legal system which more often than not breeds adversarialness or unaccountability? Or with the lawyers who strive to be neutral advocates, but can slip, in trying to help their clients, into being negative advocates?
The recent change to a no fault process in New York State divorce law will hopefully help smooth and streamline the entire process, how much so is an open question at the moment...

WILL DIVORCE INSURANCE FOSTER MORE DIVORCES?

I was talking with a friend about the concept of divorce insurance. She attempted to be objective about the issue, despite the fact that she, herself, was embroiled in a " nasty " and financially draining divorce. She voiced the opinion, which I've heard from several others, that having divorce insurance would make it far too easy for a couple to leave the relationship and not work on improving it.
While I'm not necessarily a big proponent of the concept of divorce insurance ( I believe that the best divorce insurance is a close, compassionate, marriage ), I don't believe that having an insurance policy against divorce gives someone free reign for bad behavior. After all. does having automobile insurance make people drive more recklessly, or having health insurance lead to poorer health choices? I don't think so.
However, if you as a married person, or as a single person, and are considering divorce insurance, You need to ask yourself something. What is my interest telling me? If you are married and thinking this kind of insurance sounds good, you need to take a good look at your marriage and assess what's working well and what's not working so well. Then decide how do you fix what's not working so well. If you're a single person and find the concept of divorce insurance intriguing, you need to decide what are the things that are most important to you in your life and uncover where your priorities are, before getting married.
Getting back to my divorcing friend, while she admits that having divorce insurance would ease the financial burden she's feeling now. The majority of her distress now, and during her marriage, is emotional. She feels the money she would have spent on premiums would have been better spent on individual and couple counseling and life coaching...